Friday, March 18, 2005

Clip of the Month - Old Glory Robot Insurance


Old Lady #1: When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company said his policy didn't cover him.
Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music..
Old Lady #1: What about the robots?
Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.
Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.
Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.
[ cut to Sam Waterston, Compensated Endorser ]
Sam Waterson: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular TV series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration. [ SUPER: Limitied Benefits First Two Years ] You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time. [ show pie chart reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ] And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free.. because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice. [ SUPER: "WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves. ] Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.

7 comments:

gavv said...

you want i should make Old Glory the new Clip of the Month? ^^

Tohoscope said...

Doh! Good idea. I'll change it over to the Clip of the Month...

gavv said...

oh, evil evil .mov format

Tohoscope said...

What format do you prefer? It's a snap to export to avi or mpeg from Quicktime Pro...

Tohoscope said...

You know, I wanna put WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves on a tee-shirt or at the very least a button...

gavv said...

well, i just prefer mpeg (vcd level or whateve) or mpeg-4(ie divx) avi since it's more universal, and QT is horrendous in windows (imho ^^). man i need to get those tapes back to dave along with this new dvd of clips ^^;...oh, always thought a 2008, exercise your rights, election themed shirt with monkey vs robot would be a cool shirt...

Tohoscope said...

Ok, I've replaced the quicktime version with VCD quality MPEG. Enjoy!