The Ninja Squad [1986]

Lots of people have asked me about THE NINJA SQUAD and if you've looked around the internet you'll see that it's out of print. But if you still want to own a copy of it you can get it on DVD. Of course I still recommend that you just check the shelves at your local used video stores, which is where I found my copy for only $3. There are lots of copies out there on VHS just waiting to be found on the cheap... 



If you're interested in FORKLIFT DRIVER KLAUS you can buy the region free DVD here. 

Post Oni-Con thoughts...

Rented a Malibu II and drove down to Houston with Ed. Found Oni-Con and spent a few minutes looking for a parking spot, got lucky and found one close to the loading dock. Went in and found Bruce and Mundee, went to the bar and knocked back 3 G&Ts to steel myself for OtakuHELL. Found the room, it was a smallish video room and luckily I was able to set up a half hour before the show. Unfortunately we had sound troubles. I broke out the portable speakers and hooked them to the Audiovox but they couldn't really do much for the room. I may need to look into some sort of portable yet powerful computer speakers/amplifiers for future shows. And it looks like I'll be buying a switch box just for the VCR/DVD problem. As things were set up in the Atlanta room I was unplugging the Portable DVD Player and plugging in the VCR because the DELL Projector wasn't getting a signal from the L1/L2 inputs on the VCR. [It was a decent VCR, too, I didn't run anything from the Audiovox Portable VCR] Eventually I got a tech who figured out where my sound problem was and I cannibalized the connector from the Eddie Bauer and we had sound. That left me with about an hour left of the show before the GTO Movie was scheduled. I felt ok with that. I'd rather surrender the room to GTO then something like, say, HentaiFEST...

We had a great crowd for the show, and the room was packed the full two hours, and they even put up with the prerequisite technical snafus. Gogo and his Rube Goldberg egg machine was well received, as was Lolita 18's VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR. FORKLIFT DRIVER KLAUS was a bigger hit then I expected, despite the fact the DVD player froze up at least 3 times. Once the audio problems were licked I played ARE YOU LISTENING and TOOTHACHE OF A CLOWN. But once again the break out hit was NINJA SQUAD with Master Ninja Gordon up against Ivan the Red in an all out Ninja battle for Ninja supremacy. I ended the show with some FARTING EVANGELIST to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Then I packed up just as the Oni-Con Video Director, Michael Unfried, came in to run GTO. I shook his hand and then we were off for a big steak dinner!

All in all it was a great show and I want to thank everybody who showed up and had a good laugh. I hope we can do it again next year.

OtakuHELL Oni-Con update

Just got an e-mail from the Oni-Con Director of Video. I'll be mixing a 2 hour set sarting at 7pm on Saturday, October 23. I'll try to keep it as tight as possible and get as much stuff in as I can. I've got new YATTA footage, VERMILLION PLEASURE NIGHT, FORKLIFT DRIVER KLAUS, New Shorts, New Trailers, New Commercials, and much, much more! Look for the flyers! Beware the Nin-Ja!

The Devil's Rain!

Halloween is almost here. So, in the spirit of Trick or Treat I'd like to share some Spooky Movies from the OtakuHELL Video Vaults. Painfully bad spooky movies.

Are you looking for a movie full of big name stars? This movie has more stars then a LOVE BOAT episode. Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerritt, Eddie Albert, Ida Lupino, Keenan Wynn, William Shatner, John Travolta, and ...Anton LaVey? That's right! The guy behind The Church of Satan is cast here as the High Priest and leads the Mexican extras in some high spirited Latin chanting. Not that you'd recognize him under his goofy 'Satanic' mask. I guess Anton's casting and 'technical advisor' position is suppose to lend credibility to THE DEVIL'S RAIN. So maybe we can blame the Devil for this mess of a movie.

What is THE DEVIL'S RAIN? It looks like a made for TV movie, but it wasn't. Nope, THE DEVIL'S RAIN was made to cash in on the popularity of THE EXORCIST. The rumor is that THE DEVIL'S RAIN was one of the films financed by the same people who made DEEP THROAT and I can honestly say this movie looks like a pornloop made in 1975. THE DEVIL'S RAIN pads out it's 85 minutes of running time with things like William Shatner taking off his hat, coat and vest and then putting on his hat, coat and vest and then opening a car door and getting into the car and then driving from point A to point B. Etc...

Shatner duels Ernest Borgnine for his soul, AND to see who can chew the scenery the most. It's a toss up. Shatner seems to think he's a cowboy, but Borgnine gets more screen time. And wacky goat makeup. On the other hand we get to see a shirtless Shatner on a satanic altar screaming like a little girl.

Here's where the movie takes a left turn. Eddie Albert shows up as a sort of Van Helsing professor of the paranormal with Tom Skerritt as his T.A. and Joan "EIGHT IS ENOUGH" Prather as Tom's wife, psychic, plot device and damsel in distress. Joan has a vague psychic hotline montage plot point moment that sets up the second act. Tom and Joan head off to confront Borgnine where we get more padding of Tom and Joan sneaking around a western facade hunting for Satanists. Luckily Tom is attacked by John Travolta. After a bit of disappointing satanic wrestling Tom ends up on top of Travolta and it's time for Joan to psychically trigger a RED SHIFT FLASHBACK to what looks like the first satanic Thanksgiving. Who wants to see Borgnine dressed like a pilgrim burned at the stake and Shatner with a pony tail, IN EYE SEARING RED?
The flashback doesn't really explain anything except to explain why Borgnine has a grudge with Shatner and Skerritt and where the McGuffin of THE BOOK comes in. Turns out that Borgnine is collecting souls for the devil. Or something. It's hard to tell. Anyway, Joan is captured, Tom teams up with Eddie Albert, Tom tries to save Joan, Eddie threatens to destroy what looks like satan's portable TV, but it's taken away by Shatner who breaks it and starts...THE DEVIL'S RAIN! The moneyshot of the movie: 10 minutes of satanists melting into goo. And there you have it. Cheesy '70s genre classic with a surprise ending that'll have you rolling on the floor with laughter or groaning with frustration. The best way to watch THE DEVIL'S RAIN is with a few drinks and a few friends to shout at the devil...

Haw Haw Haw!

Well, it works fine now... let's see how it works tomorrow.

OtakuHELL at Oni-Con

We're tentatively scheduled to run OtakuHELL opposite the Cosplay at Oni-Con. I'll post more about the show next week.

finally...

Blogger finally emailed me and let me choose a new password. It only took them a month. The good news is, they emailed me six times!