Monday, October 18, 2004

The Devil's Rain!

Heaven help us all when....the poster is better then the movie
Halloween is almost here. So, in the spirit of Trick or Treat I'd like to share some Spooky Movies from the OtakuHELL Video Vaults. Painfully bad spooky movies.

Are you looking for a movie full of big name stars? This movie has more stars then a LOVE BOAT episode. Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerritt, Eddie Albert, Ida Lupino, Keenan Wynn, William Shatner, John Travolta, and ...Anton LaVey? That's right! The guy behind The Church of Satan is cast here as the High Priest and leads the Mexican extras in some high spirited Latin chanting. Not that you'd recognize him under his goofy 'Satanic' mask. I guess Anton's casting and 'technical advisor' position is suppose to lend credibility to THE DEVIL'S RAIN. So maybe we can blame the Devil for this mess of a movie.
It looks even better in Spain!
What is THE DEVIL'S RAIN? It looks like a made for TV movie, but it wasn't. Nope, THE DEVIL'S RAIN was made to cash in on the popularity of THE EXORCIST. The rumor is that THE DEVIL'S RAIN was one of the films financed by the same people who made DEEP THROAT and I can honestly say this movie looks like a pornloop made in 1975. THE DEVIL'S RAIN pads out it's 85 minutes of running time with things like William Shatner taking off his hat, coat and vest and then putting on his hat, coat and vest and then opening a car door and getting into the car and then driving from point A to point B. Etc...
Shatner worshippers, bow down to THE WICKER COWBOY HAT!
Shatner duels Ernest Borgnine for his soul, AND to see who can chew the scenery the most. It's a toss up. Shatner seems to think he's a cowboy, but Borgnine gets more screen time. And wacky goat makeup. On the other hand we get to see a shirtless Shatner on a satanic altar screaming like a little girl.
Early prototype for Yoda...
Here's where the movie takes a left turn. Eddie Albert shows up as a sort of Van Helsing professor of the paranormal with Tom Skerritt as his T.A. and Joan "EIGHT IS ENOUGH" Prather as Tom's wife, psychic, plot device and damsel in distress. Joan has a vague psychic hotline montage plot point moment that sets up the second act. Tom and Joan head off to confront Borgnine where we get more padding of Tom and Joan sneaking around a western facade hunting for Satanists. Luckily Tom is attacked by John Travolta. After a bit of disappointing satanic wrestling Tom ends up on top of Travolta and it's time for Joan to psychically trigger a RED SHIFT FLASHBACK to what looks like the first satanic Thanksgiving. Who wants to see Borgnine dressed like a pilgrim burned at the stake and Shatner with a pony tail, IN EYE SEARING RED?
The flashback doesn't really explain anything except to explain why Borgnine has a grudge with Shatner and Skerritt and where the McGuffin of THE BOOK comes in. Turns out that Borgnine is collecting souls for the devil. Or something. It's hard to tell. Anyway, Joan is captured, Tom teams up with Eddie Albert, Tom tries to save Joan, Eddie threatens to destroy what looks like satan's portable TV, but it's taken away by Shatner who breaks it and starts...THE DEVIL'S RAIN! The moneyshot of the movie: 10 minutes of satanists melting into goo. And there you have it. Cheesy '70s genre classic with a surprise ending that'll have you rolling on the floor with laughter or groaning with frustration. The best way to watch THE DEVIL'S RAIN is with a few drinks and a few friends to shout at the devil...

Haw Haw Haw!

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