Monday, December 31, 2012

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Friday, December 21, 2012

You'll shoot your eye out

The best conversation--in my opinion--happens at 4:30.

Gah! The kid goes missing for four hours and they call the cops! This was back when a rotary phone could add to the tension.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

For children and adults as well.

You could watch this on your lunch-break.

I first read it long, long ago, on an airplane. I might have been six and my dad handed it to me, to keep me busy on the flight back from where ever we had been.

I still read it, on occasion, to remind myself of some very basic things.

When we just tell kids something without explaining it, when we expect them to blindly accept what we (as kids) blindly accepted, then it's harder to fight for it. When it's just a series of empty words, don't expect them to stand.

Also, other events make me wonder how things are being explained. This story is more frightening to an adult than a child, because we have slightly more understanding of what's going on.

On my car, I have a bumper-sticker that says, Don't lie to kids and you'd be amazed how many people ask me what it means. It seems obvious.

But, I'd encourage you to watch it, by yourself or with others. Maybe have a discussion about it. Maybe ask yourself a few questions. It seems important.

Ugh. Those closing credits....


Kinda sappy, but it's the first thing I learned to play on a recorder.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Wolcum to a new post

As it turns out, Benjamin Britten would be turning 100 next year, so get ready to hear that name a lot more.

Now, a story that was told to me:

Long ago, Britten found a book of poetry and he based the "Ceremony of Carols" off it, kinda like Carl Orff and the Carmina Burana.

When Britten was fleeing Europe during WW2, he worked on the music during the boat trip. When he got to the States, they seized the sheet-music, thinking it was some kind of secret code.

I don't know how true the story is, but it's a good one. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

Takes a bit to get there...

Chris and I had a little fun in the comments a while back. Here's some context.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Why The Bears Dance on Christmas Eve (1977)

Just when you think you've seen every campy, candy-coated Christmas specials made, another one pops up you had yet to witness in your life yet, for all to see, courtesy of YouTube!

Thursday, December 13, 2012


That is a butt-load of tubas.

The narrator is my dad, who died on September 13th of this year. Some tubas came by and played "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" at his funeral.

It was very nice. Everyone sang along.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Not what anyone expected

I've had "The French Mistake" stuck in my head most of today and found this in the side-bar.

This also ties into my hypothesis about how trauma creates comedy. Having gone to a Catholic school (nuns and everything!), I think I understand.

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Friday, December 07, 2012

Maybe I have a fever.

I'm not sure what happened here. Can anyone find an unedited copy?

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Full-Body Shopping

This is why you want to make stuff yourself, rather than buy it.

Handy tip! Put your arms over your head. Go on, do it.

Notice how your elbows form a nice V in front of your face, like a face-guard? Great! Now, just fall forward into whatever is in your way. BOOM! Elbow to the face! Elbow to the neck! Ahhhhh! I was just defending myself!

This is really handy if you're shorter than your opponent. Do it right, and you can jab them in the pits while raising your arms. You don't want to kick their ass, just incapacitate them long enough to get what YOU came for.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Dave Brubeck (December 6, 1920 – December 5, 2012)

Oh, I don't even want to think about Christmas right now. I'm bummed that Dave Brubeck died. And a day before his birthday, too!

Actually, I didn't know he was still alive. That's always how it is with these guys.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012


I'm really excited about this and you're wondering why.

A few years ago, while looking for something else, I stumbled across the movie Kin-Dza-Dza. Fascinated by the visuals, I watched it without subtitles.

A year later, I found a copy online with subtitles on Google Video. Now, that format is gone, but there's a copy on YouTube (subtitles in the captions) and I really really recommend it because it's such a great little flick.

Plus, I love that spaceship.'s a white Christmas, then?

It's a shame this is a silent film, but I imagine the noise in the factory was deafening. Some of those machines look like they could take a finger right off.

That's better.

Monday, December 03, 2012

"I don't even know half these people."

Time to make some Xmas cards, or wrapping paper, or...whatever that thing is there.

I found it via Dangerous Minds who found it via Nistagmus. You found it here.

Stick some cotton balls on ol' Santy!

Not really an advent calendar, but close enough for me!

Sunday, December 02, 2012

The light! It burns!

I just got finished putting up my lights for the season, but I didn't do anything fancy like this guy did. It is tempting, however.

What's also fun about this is putting the lights through different channels, not just right and left. If you have one strand on the bass, one on the treble, and the third on the mid, you can do more interesting things.

Saturday, December 01, 2012


Well, it's that time of year again. Advent officially starts today and what better way to celebrate than with an Advent calendar?

This week, we're going to look at things you can make at home in preparation for the season. In today's lousy economy, it's better to make than buy and we're all individuals, right? Looking at the above video, I bet you could make those pockets say whatever you like.

Plus, I really like the music in this one. It was 80 here today and I had to turn on the A/C, and this has a nice steel-drum sound. It's like winter, but not.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

America's First Thanksgiving

Tuck in, and have a heaping helping of some Industrial Complex!

Day of Thanksgiving

No Thanksgiving turkey for the Johnson family. The kids are disappointed, but Dad shames them into feeling thankful anyway.

Adjust to taste

Personally, I despise turkey. I think it's a cheap bird and it never tastes right to me.

In our family, we always did Rock Cornish Game hens, and that was nice because everyone got their own little bird. I will be forever amused that the rugged and individualist United States never figured this one out and insisted on the communal and egalitarian turkey.

I like up-right cooking as I think it's better presentation. You don't get a soggy-backed bird and ALL of the skin (that's where the salmonella is!) is crisped just right. Depending on what bird you're cooking, this is either a blessing or a curse.

I also see at my local Tom Thumb (one of the Safeway brands), there's almost no turkey, but still six frozen "young goose" available. It would appear that no one here knows how to cook a goose. I did not see any capon or duck, which is a pity.

The important part in cooking a goose is to not braise it as you would any non-water-going foul. There's plenty of oil in the skin already and adding more juice to it will just create an impenetrable shell. My grandparents discovered this once, much to their chagrin.

I love Peking duck, but I'm not cool with that guy putting his mouth on it.

How to Carve a Turkey

Miss Martha on a remote feed? Naw, we just called her up on the phone.

Monday, November 19, 2012

What do you call a giant rubber chicken?

Dumb Ways to Die

Hat tip to the Dallas VideoFest.


Loom from Polynoid on Vimeo.

"A moth being caught in a spiders web. Struggling for an escape, the moths panic movements only result in less chance of survival. What follows is the type of causality everyones expecting. The spider appears, claims its prey and feeds on it. The way nature works. But it’s the point of view that creates an intense relationship between the hunter and its victim. There is much more to explore, much more to feel if one takes the time to really experience the content of a split second."

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Friday, November 02, 2012

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Roger Corman!

Man, I don't know who this whiny kid is, but he's got a good thing going here.

Really, the star here is the car.



But really, think about it. This guy made the movies you love to make fun of. You should appreciate it.

HUNDREDS, you hear that? Dude did HUNDREDS of flicks.

I hope you're taking notes.

He's all Tea Party with his fiscal responsibly. You could learn something.

The Fall of the House of Usher (John Schnall, 1984)

The Tell Tale Heart (UPA, 1953)

"True, I'm nervous... very, very dreadfully nervous...
but why will you say that I'm mad?"

Programmes for St. Frankenstein's Day

With so much on TV tonight, why go out?

Living in a Haunted House

Hat tip to JoBlo

Monday, October 29, 2012

Hammer Horror!

I caught this one night on the local PBS station's "One Star Theater". I think it was about high fructose corn syrup or something.

What I didn't know was it was the first movie made by the reborn Hammer Studios: Hammer Horror. What they made afterwards was history.


BOYEAH! Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee! Oh, that's where it's AT!

But seriously, this was the start of a wonderful partnership that lasted many years. They worked together and were great friends and I don't know if we'll ever have something like that again.

I'm insanely happy that the BFI has gone to the trouble to restore this classic. It's a truly defining film with a pair of defining performances.

So help me, Christopher Lee.

Dude! They cut out his TONGUE. That's awful.

There were many sequels to the Frankenstien, Dracula, and Mymmy films, but Hammer did other horror films as well.

Well, yeah, OK. A werewolf is kinda predictable.

Well, not as predictable, but we've seen this story before. What up?

Ugh! SEEN IT. Several times, as a matter of fact. Dangit! Didn't Hammer Horror do anything original?

Aaaaaaaand.......we're back where we started.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Barking Mad

I've lost track of how many of these there are. What else has Clive been up to?


Hey, free bees.

There was a lot of good talent in this one and a sound track by Philip Glass (art-fag points!). It was also a pretty sexy film, for what it was.

But horror films were always about sex.

What I remember most about this was David Cronenberg was in it and it took place in Canada. This made me strangely proud as a child.

Also, Danny Elfman soundtrack. Rock on.

"Ziggy says you have to stop the end of days before you can leap again."

I saw this in a theaters. I wish I hadn't.

Wow. Torture porn. Yay. Makes me kind miss the "Hellraiser" flicks, at least they weren't...

Oh yeah.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Haunted Mouse

The King is dead. Long live the King!

I need a string section to follow me around.

They're remaking this and I don't know why. I thought the first one pretty much got the job done, but I suppose there's not enough CGI in it or something. We'll see what happens, but I don't have a lot of hope for it.


They did a "made for TV" remake of this as well. It pissed me off so much, I went out to rent the original.

My roomie at the time had never seen it. He slept with the lights on for a week afterwards.

This was also remade, as a TV series. I'm pretty sure they'll remake it again, but with cell-phones.

"Oh, darn. I can't get any signal out here. Wait! What was that?"

Oh, this was made into a series twenty years after the fact. It didn't last long.

This was turned into a series called "Trucks". I don't think King directed it.

It's only a matter of time.....

Friday, October 26, 2012

H.P. Lovecraft waits dreaming in R'lyeh

Whenever I think of H.P. Lovecraft I think of people going mad.

Not getting mad. But losing all grip on reality.

Which always happens to the people in Lovecraft's stories who confront horrors that their minds can't comprehend.

It's that thing that a mind can't comprehend which fires the imagination. What does madness look like? What does it sound like? Can it be captured and viewed? And can the viewer escape with their minds intact? Could we escape that horror that Lovecraft shares with us?

Can we be sure that Lovecraft escaped it?

The Call of Cthulhu

I love you, Lovecraft

Gosh, I don't know. Should I put this one under Vincent Price, Edgar Allen Poe, or Roger Corman? Well, I'm putting it under Lovecraft, because that's where the plot came from. So there.

It's sad how many movies claim a Lovecraft heritage, but fall so sort. No one is willing to do a true adaptation.


Take this gorgeous mess, for example. It's supposed to be "The Color Out of Space", but it's really a very sad tale of people who don't understand radiation. This is made especially sad by the fact that the hero and his lady love studied "science" together in the States.

In case you haven't caught on, Boris Karloff wasn't too hep on walking in his final days. I'm afraid that Christopher Lee is going the same way and now accepting "sitting" roles. I'm really going to miss him.

Oh, "Color Out of Space", why can't anyone treat you right? Are you truly unfilmable?

Dude, at least Dean Stockwell is trying, which is more than I can say for anyone else in this flick.

Was Sam Jaffe always that age?

FINALLY! Someone gets it!

NOOOOOOOOOO! You had a good thing going! Why'd you have to mess it up?

Oh, forget it.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Never Bet the Devil Your Head

I don't know how long these videos will be good, so it's worth catching them while you can.

Retitled "Spirits of the Dead" in the English release, "Histoires extraordinaires" is from the first collection of Poe's short stories translated by French poet Charles Baudelaire. The film has three directors and covers three stories and I'm going to embed "Toby Damnit" here. It's based on this story.

Some of this might not be safe for work.

Vincent and Edgar -- Sounds like a kids' book

Oh man! What a fun film. Vincent is just delightfully evil in this one and everyone puts on a strong show. There's even a little "Hopfrog" subplot thrown in, just for fun.

If you like, the whole movie is available online. I'll let you look it up.

The Paul Frees narration really does it for me.

Oooooo....Roger Corman. We'll have more of him next week.

Oh, look. An ACTOR!

I want those sunglasses.

There are so many greats in this, it's hard to not love it.

Eugch. Peter Lorre is not looking good here.

Vincent Price Interview from 1982

A wonderful exchange with a great man.

The Vincent Price Collection of Fine Art

Vincent Price is so classy.

An Evening With Vincent Price

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Raven (Fleischer Studios, 1942)

Not necessary based on a familiar poem by Edgar Allen Poe, but whatever.

Edgar Allan Mo'

I can't get enough Edgar Allen, and neither can a slew of film-makers. I won't say he's the most adapted writer (that prize goes to the committee that put the Bible together), but it's a strong showing.

And this is the stuff without Vincent Price. Tough order.

English is for pussies. You want something awful, get someone who was oppressed.

I can't help it; I love puppets.

A good enough version. It's no theater for the deaf, but it will do.

I'm always weirded out when someone tries to put a British spin on Poe. Dude was an American! USA! USA!

I think I played this game back in the 90s.

OK. I was a little iffy about posting this one, as it comes with a mature rating and you'll have to sign in to watch it. The illustrations by Harry Clarke convinced me otherwise.

Before I forget, this is also a Poe story (obvious by the end). Here's parts two, three, and four.

Mike Toole Presents

Watch live video from miketoole on

Mike will be streaming some Japanese takes on American SciFi tonight at 11:30pm ET

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Why does Mr. Vampire hop?

Why do Chinese Vampires hop?

Back in the mid 80s it was a golden age of trashy videos. The same year that Jackie Chan's My Lucky Stars and Police Story hit the theatres of Hong Kong Mr. Vampire set off a Hopping Vampire craze.

Wearing Qing Dynasty robes, arms outstretched, and hopping, the vampires of Mr. Vampire have became the iconic standard for every Chinese Vampire movie that followed. There's some of Halloween's Michael Myers and John Ford's Thing From Another World in the relentless attacks of Mr. Vampire. This is an unstoppable undead kung fu killing creature that just keeps attacking. But lucky for us we've got Lam Ching Ying.

Lam Ching Ying plays a Taoist priest who is training two students, who don't know much about Jiang Shi (a.k.a. hopping vampires). So we learn all the "rules" about how to prevent and fight hopping vampires right along with them. And boy howdy there's a boatload of rules.

Hey look! The whole movie is on YouTube!

Now I've got to run out and buy some sticky rice.

Vampire Prosecutor

He's a Prosecutor! And he's a Vampire! He's Vampire Prosecutor!

Your typical teen-age dance program of the fifties!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Horror to the north of me; terror to the south of me

Oh man. You Tube has a whole new look. It's a learning session for everyone!

This movie, from Korea, was remade as The Uninvited. We have a tendency to remake things, which is a shame. It was fine as it was.

But, so were a lot of other films from Korea.

Beautiful women, specifically ghost women, are a major theme in Korean horror flicks. Really though, if you think about it, women hold a major role in most horror films. Horror is about sex.

Except for The Thing. There are no women in that movie and it is not sexy at all. No. That is not a date film, ever.

Do you know why babies are creepy? BECAUSE THEY ARE.

Mirrors, also creepy. Dark blue color-schemes, very creepy.

It's kinda like Silence of the Lambs, but with less cross-dressing.

No. No Sidney Poitier in this version of To Sir, With Love. Sorry.

OK. I love The Quiet Family because I think it's funny as hell. As a favor, here's the full flick. Watch it while it lasts!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Chucky goes to Bollywood

aborgate from tohoscope on Vimeo.

Papi Gudia is the Bollywood version of Child's Play. It's low budget, has lots of cringe worthy moments, and an off the shelf stand in for Chucky that's not so much scary as it is pathetic. And it's pretty entertaining.

How can you not love a movie with that has this little musical number in it?

If you're a fan of Child's Play you may not like Papi Gudia. But if you're a fan of MST3K you'll find plenty to riff at. Heck, call your friends over and riff away. Watch Papi Gudia online and tell us of any drinking games you come up with in the comments.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

You can't hear the aliens. You can't see the shark.

Here's a quick little video of Spielberg talking about how the sound of a film can do more to frighten an audience. Or, I should say in this case, the lack of sound.

Again, at the end, silence.

The shark was supposed to be seen many more times than made it to the final cut. Sadly (but lucky for us!), the mechanical sharks broke down frequently, forcing Spielberg to shoot many scenes with a hint of shark, rather than the actual thing.

And, I think, the shark is a more powerful and frightening monster when you can't see it. It's a nightmare, hidden and horrifying, but with great effect over the lives of those it encounters. The boat gets knocked around and everyone is afraid of something they can't see. It taps into our fear of the dark, of shadows, of what might or might not be lurking under the bed.

You cannot fight what you cannot see.

I'd like to dedicate this clip to Jim Lehrer and his creepy, creepy eyes.

Taken out of context, this is just a heart-breaking retelling. I love the language--the cadence--of it: almost musical. I'm getting all sappy listening to the hurt and fear of something that was just under the surface.

You didn't see a shark attack; you saw the result. Sometimes, you didn't see anything at all, just a man screaming in the night.

Transfer (music video)

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Monster Force

Universal's Monsters have been adapted and rebooted into sitcoms, cartoons, remakes and Abbot and Costello movies. Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, The Wolfman, The Mummy, They're barely recognisable in Monster Force.

I don't remember when I got this on DVD. But watching it for the first time was horrifying, like a sharp poke in the eyes. I was expecting a bad cartoon, but just not as bad as this.

I'm guessing this cartoon was made to promote a line of action figures. The designs are somewhere between Filmation's Ghostbusters and The Toxic Crusaders, yet some how not nearly as pleasing. The premise of this series is basicly the same as The Monster Squad except with superheros instead of a bunch of neighborhood kids. How could that go wrong? You'd be surprised.

I was going to compare Monster Force with Toei's Tomb of Dracula, except I think Tomb of Dracula is much more entertaining.

Dracula in Cambodia.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

The REAL Ghostbusters

Notice that they aren't wearing their color-coded costumes yet.

I can still name all the voice actors. Frank Welker was Ray, Lorenzo Music was Peter, Maurice LeMarche was Egon, and Arsenio Hall was Winston. At that time, I had a little fantasy in my head that some day I would be on The Arsenio Hall Show and I would ask him if they took turns making monster sounds, or if Frank Welker just did them all. This was when I started to really pay attention to voice actors and what they were doing.

I remember playing "truth or dare" with a friend in 7th grade and I had to admit I watched the show. As it turned out, so did she. We spent the rest of the night geeking out over our shared love of this cartoon (and talking about how much soap operas sucked, which is what the rest of our classmates watched).

Did you know there are whole episodes on YouTube? I was delighted to discover that.

This is the first episode I ever saw. I immediately programmed our VCR to record future episodes. I was not going to miss another one.

A clever device, the television. This is actually one of my favorite episodes.

New voice talents! Buster Jones is Winston now. Dave Coulier (of Out of Control fame) is Peter, and Laura Summer has been replaced by Kath Soucie as Janine. This is one of the most meta things I've ever seen.

Wait. Who wrote that? They guy who created Babylon 5? Oh yeah...he was the story editor. My sister and I used to watch for his name in the credits. If he'd written an episode, we knew it would be good.

Now, a bit of fun trivia: Peter was played by Bill Murry in the movies, but by Lorenzo Music in the cartoon. Lorenzo Music was the voice of Garfield in the cartoons, but by Bill Murry in the movie.

Good googly-moogly!

Oh yeah. THIS happened. Oh well! Can't win them all!

Pennsylvania 1600

In honor of Anime Hell's 1600th post, I present to you: a ghost story.

This guy just makes me laugh.

THRILLER (with puppets!)

Friday, October 12, 2012

The Language They Speak

The Cartoon Crypt of Casper the Friendly Ghost

I want to start out by presenting the most horrifying Casper cartoon I could find. Yes, of all his many incarnations it has to be Casper and The Angels.

Now for something that poses some odd questions about the afterlife and Casper's place in it there's this gem. There's Good Boos Tonight not only has the most inappropriate title, but the ending will run you through an emotional rollercoaster.


Please do not reveal the secret ending of Casper the Friendly Ghost: There's Good Boos Tonight to your friends.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Fox Sisters still haunt us

Fox Sisters from The Animation Workshop on Vimeo.

If the message is the medium then certainly the Fox Sisters are as American as it gets. It's a recognisable tale: A meteoric rise to fame. International celebrity. A falling out. A descent in to alcoholism, and poverty. And along the way they inspired a cultural movement. The influence of the Fox Sisters can still be seen today in the popularity of docutainment haunting shows and maybe even The Kardashians.

It's strange that they don't get mentioned more often. Especially when you consider the number of people who believe in ghosts.

Spiritualism and parlor séances became so popular that even when the Fox Sisters confessed that it was all a hoax they were ignored. Perhaps this is their revenge from beyond the grave.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012



Blithe Spirit (1945)

This movie should really be called Coming Back for More Over; because, when it's over, it's over. Don't be coming back for more.

Also, Margret Rutherford is phenomenal in this film. I want to be just like here when I get older (but without the wired racism). I know that Harold Ramis has.

She looks a little like Hans Conried, doesn't she?

Oh! That silly séance! Psychics freak me out. I've never been comfortable around the sensitive.

Maybe, someday, I'll going to start a service for the poor dears. I'll find them gigs and handle their fiances, for a nominal fee.

I take it back. I've always found them to be tremendous flakes.

But, hey, if you want to see the whole film, here it is. That ought to fill a lunch hour-and-a-half.

Monday, October 08, 2012

Lonesome Ghosts

I guess ghosts are like interweb trolls.

The Stone Tape (1972)

Oh, lucky you. You get a full 90-minute movie.

Now, I get to tell you about my own ghosts.

An apartment I had, when I was married: we had three ghosts. We had a young man who would walk through the living room, a grandma in the kitchen (always cooking), and a young woman who went up and down the stairs.

I can't say these were ghosts per se. These were figures you saw out of the corner of you eye. If you looked at them directly, they were not there.

When I saw them, I never said anything about it. Maybe I was tired. Maybe I was hungry. Sure, I saw them, but I thought very little of them.

To me, they were like seeing a footprint in a mud-puddle. They did not try to communicate with me, but they just were. I did my thing; they did theirs. So be it.

The toughest part about having ghosts is you can't put in a ticket to have the apartment sprayed for them. They're worse than roaches in that regard.

Sunday, October 07, 2012

What was that about Saint-Saëns?

Oh, sh'yeah. Like fossils don't count.

Zombie Girl

There is a long tradition of kids making horror movies, but this is kind of special. A documentary about a 12 year old girl in Austin, TX, making a zombie movie.

Turn off the interwebs and go out and make a horror movie right now.

meta AND snark?

This isn't Halloween related, but I just had to share.

Quick! Before it's taken down!

Danse Macabre

Merci, Monsieur Saint-Saëns!

Friday, October 05, 2012

It's Friday. Whooooo! one wants to watch Robbie's Ultimate Strip Tease.

Which reminds me, I need to do something with the rest of that beef tenderloin I bought last weekend.

But, hey, skeletons are cool, right? They're still cool?

Yeah....skeletons are still cool.

Michael, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001)

This is a real movie. This actually happened.


You've seen movies like this: the stilted dialog, the strange hints that things are not as they seem, the cast of idiots who take everything at face value.

Oh, goody. He found the cave.

Buck Naked (of Subgenius fame), once came into Dan's Lakewood Cafe with a feral girl he'd found digging around in his backyard. She didn't put her face in her food, but she did curl her arm around her plate of grilled cheese and fries and glowered at anyone who got too close.

I remember her grabbing the fries by the fist-full and gnawing on whatever stuck out over the heel of her hand. I was more disgusted by the fact that she hadn't washed her hands first.

Buck's girl didn't do any dance numbers, but she didn't speak much either. I think Animala has cleaner fingernails.

Oh yeah....there's a sequel.

See you at the movies!

I don't wanna be buried...

I was SHOCKED to find out that this classic Ramone's song is being used in a certain animated feature film abut a boy who revivifies his dog. How ghoulish is that?

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Cartoon Network (1992-2012)

20 years of memories!

The Day the Earth Stood STONE COLD STILL


You'd never guess that this was a big Jesus allegory by watching this trailer. It's amazing. Klatuu never really lets on, does he?

BTW, if you haven't seen this film yet, you've missed out on a lot. Look at how huge, powerful, and inhuman Gort is. He could destroy the earth, so why doesn't he?

Say it with me. "Klatuu barada nikto." Remember these words! They could save not only YOUR life, but those of MILLIONS others (it was still the 50s).

Also, killer soundtrack. Theremin FTW.

AWA 2012 Hell post mortem

Here's what was shown last Friday night at AWA.  It was kind of a special Anime Hell; I went back into the mists of Hell Time and dredged up some old favorites from both the early Dragoncon all-night marathons and the more programmed events that followed. Finding a lot of the earlier clips was tough; some of the material didn't make the transition from VHS to DVD to digital file and casting around for it is a chore. The audience seemed to appreciate the older material; I tried to pick stuff that the audience liked and I felt was funny and representative of the older shows. Tons of stuff did NOT make the cut; looking back over the playlists it's shocking what I put out there to bore the audience with.  As old as some of the material got, most of it delivered laughs. It's always somebody's first Anime Hell.

FRANKENSTEIN’S KUNG FU MONSTER will not be seen tonight so that we may bring you this special presentation.
Mr Mike Crawl
Aachi & Ssipak - cold opening starring ultraviolent biker versus little blue terrorists
Shain’s opening ("All My Hells")
Hell flyer images from the 1990s
Prefectural High School Earth Defense Force - one of the favorites from the long-form days.
Dirty Pair Does Dishes
Grandizer Vs Great Mazinger, Mazinger Z Vs Devilman clips
Hardware Wars - influential in the youths of so many.
Thank You Mask Man - shown in midnight movie screenings in the late 60s
Bambi meets Godzilla
Bring me the head of Charlie Brown -this one still holds up.
CNN anime report - it's like Cabbage Patch Kids in outer space!
 Dateline NBC Sailor Moon-  lots of Power Rangers footage in that clip, and a lot of 90s kids in the audience
CBC otaku report- lonely ugly men who hate other humans wonder why they can't get dates
Japanorama otaku - Jonathan Ross dressed as Robot Keiji
Dating Do's and Dont's - a very edited version of this educational classic
Live and learn-  just the girl with the scissors
Forkliftdriver Klaus- a tiny slice of this.
Heino that’s irritainment - the first and best Heino clip.
Cartoons and you-  Mark Newgarden's PSA
Jumping / broken down film - clips from both these classics.
Daicon film-  still fun to watch.
Creamy mami vs minky momo -  I need a subtitled version of this, but it works straight
Minky momo truck  - and we all know what happened to Minky Momo.
Gourd boy calabash kids - exploding rat horrifies evil frog
Dr tran - audience participation fun
Roybertitos - still relentlessly funny
Robot insurance - a classic
Lea press on limbs - I've always found this one a little too subtle for the crowd, but it cracks me up everytime
Flintstones cigarettes - just the tiniest bit of this one.

Titanic rapping dog - of course.
Poochie the rockin’ dog - killed myself getting this clip. Dunno what happened to my old copy
Meat And You Partners In Freedom- this one works on about eight levels
Mock five dexter- highlights of this classic
Go george Clooney - this one's cut too, lots of topical references that make no sense now
Speed racer gti ad - still funny
Speed racer geico - still funny
Speed racer performance anxiety- still funny
TNT Godzilla trailer - put together very nicely
Prince of space clips -your weapons are useless against me
Clip of me destroying Prince Of Space - yes, showing a clip of me at Anime Hell. Hopefully somebody taped this so next year I can show a clip of me showing a clip of me showing clips at Anime Hell
Japanese Spiderman
Live action versions of anime characters - Lupin III, Golgo 13, Sailor Moon
Gi joe psa’s - the Fensler films.
Hell flyer

(new material starts)

anti piracy warning from IT CROWD
why anime? Because Clutch Cargo.
Cyborg 009 ‘68 with James Bond
Cyborg 009 ‘79
Cyborg 009 RE: Cyborg
Cyborg 009 Pepsi Nex ads
Cyborg 009 Staff Service ads
Staff service ad
AKB48 vegetable drink ad
Kamen rider security ad
Golgo 13- cell phone ad, fishing line ad
Kirin Star Of The Giants ads
Giants KDDI ads
tomorrow's joe noodles & jacket offer
nissin noodles ads x5
spiderman loves bananas PSA
dr tran campfire
pop (short film about a fox and a chicken and champagne)
j-pop America fun time now - trimmed version of SNL bit
candy candy the anime
kyary kyary pamyu singing "Candy Candy"
hertzfeld la amour - early Hertzfeld, very bitter
fumiko’s confession -wacky Japanese short
redline redline 7000 - two films, one mission
big bill hell’s - FU, Baltimore!
dyE Fantasy - misbehaving teens, monsters, cosmic horror
Sam The Olympic Eagle to calm us all down
Porky breakdown I - Son of a b.b.b.b.b
Hertzfeld wisdom teeth
Porky breakdown II Porky finally spits it out.

Didn't program myself a bathroom break, missed bringing my preshow music disc, rushed through a lot of the explanatory dialog, still ran over.  Two hours passes like two seconds. It's Anime Hell!

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

What's inside me?

I remember when I first saws this, it scared me for weeks.

And there's some fantastic performances in this, considering it was pretty low-budget at the time.

And there's an ending I averted my eyes from when it first aired. I've seen it since, but it still gives me the heebie-jeebies.

The Great Space Coaster (1981-86)

Apparently someone came through and uploaded some episodes outside the single VHS compilation tape I've only seen of it past my childhood (you know the one, I don't need to go further)!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Turkey Television (Nickelodeon, 1980's)

I already brought up about this show some time ago, well I found more clips of it, so SUFFER!

Good Night!

Ken Nordine

I used to listen to Ken Nordine records as a kid. My dad had copies of Word Jazz, Son of Word Jazz, and Next. My sister and I listened to these records and made up our own images to go with them.

Maybe that harkens back to an age when people used to listen.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Nothing; we're just hipsters....

We show a lot of bad films here at Anime Hell. Would you like to see some good ones?

Are you going to be in Dallas this weekend? Check out the Dallas Video Fest. It should be fun.

Don't Look

Sorry, but....

This makes me laugh both wildly and inappropriately every time I see it.

EDIT: The roomie says he afraid to sleep now. Ohhhhh....I'm going to hell.

Kish Kash Inphlation

Who thinks they can do a mash-up for me?

You darling thing. We must talk.

The art-fag in me wants this done as well

Thursday, September 20, 2012


THIS YEAR:  a fond look back at old friends AND blazing new excitement.  ALL FOR YOU IN 2012

it's happening in ATLANTA on September 29!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Induldge me

Due to recent events, I'm thinking of the correct way to say good-bye. Yes, it's morbid, and I should keep it for October and the Halloween countdown. Sadly, I've not been given that kind of time. Very few of us have that kind of time.

I leave it up to you to put together a better video for this track. There's a lot of songs about death, but there aren't enough about living. Maybe the reminder that we're mortal might change things.

Don't be sad. It happens to everyone. Just make sure you lived first.

And you just haven't lived until you've heard a room full of people singing a Peggy Lee song. I'm telling you: shut your eyes, throw back your head, and scream to the heavens.

Make sure you have a few drinks in you first. I assure you: it's much easier. Sing like no one is listening. They aren't. They're listening to their own pain.

I promise, this is the last time I'll mention this.

EDIT: My dad died last Thursday. I am fine.

Friday, September 07, 2012

Network (1976)

This is the closest I want to get to a political post on the site.

Monday, September 03, 2012

Anime Fest Twenty-Twelve

Because "two-thousand and twelve" sounds kind dumb to me. I mean, World War One didn't start in nineteen-hundred-fourteen. I mean, it did, but "nineteen-fourteen" is just easier to say and we need to get a naming convention down as soon as possible.

Also, five in the A.M. might not be the best time to post something, but I'm going to do it.

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Friday, August 31, 2012

Chroma Key-In!

The Real Tuesday Weld

A couple of years ago, I took a copy of I, Lucifer over to the folks.

"Do you know who Tuesday Weld was?" my dad asked.

"She was an actress," I said.

He sighed. "That's very generous of you."

Nonetheless, for three months, The Real Tuesday Weld was my New Favorite Band. Part of this was because of their videos.


As a Hans Richter fan, I was hooked.

This is what started it, really. I loved the beat and the visuals were fascinating.

Also, sequels.

The same artist returned for a cover of "Brazil", which is lovely.

This was their look and their sound. I dug it.

Shortly after that, they had a new artist. It was a new style, but I still enjoyed it.

Also, I love the music. Liking the videos was just the next step.

So here I am now, figuring out what I want played at my funeral, and figuring out what we're going to play at Dad's. Somehow, it all seems right.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Sunday, August 26, 2012

AnimeHELL at AnimeFEST 2012

This Labor Day Weekend!  It's AnimeHELL at AnimeFEST!  We'll be bring lots of candy, prizes and Hell Nurse Katie to Dallas on Sunday, September 2nd! Doors open at 10pm in Panel Room 6! So bring a friend and practice your Camay Walk!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I have an idea

It will take three jumps to get there.

Closer now.

Ah, there we go.

Brother Teddy, no!

Yep, that one's going in the vault.'s gone.

The Great Silence 1976

Puppets, enforced silence, this is why the 70s sucked.

Fallout - When And How To Protect Yourself

I could've sworn I've seen this in colour. Some awesome modern design and animation in this short.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

When TV was local...

And yet, I miss the 15 minutes of fame I had on one local kiddie show back in the 80's I wish I had a video copy of!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Well, while we're here....

So! Story time!

A while back, I was in an Michael's MJ Design store and I ran into Bill Komodore, a friend of the family.

As I was buying paints (and I'm sure that's what Bill was there for), we were very close to an end-cap advertizing Bill Alexander. There were several of Alexander's books, along with tubes of his "magic white" and the palate knife he touted so often on the show.

Komodore was busy making fun of the end-cap. "Oh, look! There's Bill Alexander and his clone and that stupid knife that he's always--oh...that IS a nice knife. I should get some of those."

Anyway, I watch Bob Ross use a palate knife and I think about how Komodore passed away earlier this month.

He must be painting somewhere with Bob and Bill. I bet he won't make fun of them to their faces. He was always a polite man.

This is why you're fat

Happy 100th, Julia.

Now, so you know:

One chicken 6~7 lbs.
(Or capon. Capon are larger, but totes worth it. I prefer them, but I'm a snob. They run 8~10 lbs.)
two lemons (zest and juice)
one stick of butter
one yellow onion (one of the short, fat ones; they're sweeter)
one buttload thyme, oregano, and rosemary
a 1/2 cup of sherry
tablespoon freshly ground pepper (white)
tablespoon of salt
1 soda can

Pre-heat oven to 400F degrees. Mix everything but the chicken in a blender.

Get out the chicken and force your fingers under the skin. You want the skin on, but you want a space between the meat and skin. Your mixture will go behind the skin. Your chicken will look like a fat bitch by the time you are done. You can mold this some before you put it in the oven. The soda can is what you'll put the bird on, so it's sitting upright.

General rule is an hour for each 3 pounds. Try to baste each 30 minutes.

This falls off the bone when it's done. The butter helps keep in the moisture. If you aren't sure, tent with aluminum foil.