cancel con culture

Right now we're in the midst of COVID-19 smacking civilization around and generally having its way with us, and that means economic disaster, stressed healthcare services, and the grim reality of daily rising casualty lists. On a smaller scale this means that Japanese animation conventions are getting canceled right and left.

Anime Central in Chicago was supposed to be happening May 15-17; it's been pushed to 2021. Anime North in Toronto was originally scheduled May 22-24, and has also been moved to May of next year.  These two shows are longtime Anime Hell hosts, and obviously if the convention's not happening, then sadly, those Anime Hells aren't happening either.  Project A-Kon, the host of Otaku Hell, has also been postponed until 2021.

We're all hoping that we get through this sooner rather than later, and once the dust settles we'll get back to amusing audiences the way we've always done. In the meantime we are investigating the possibility of doing some sort of streaming Hell show over the internets, so please stay tuned to this blog or the Anime Hell event page on Facebook for updates!

Stay safe out there everybody. Wash your hands, wear a mask, stay home.

-Dave M

A-Kon 2019

Well, someone asked. He couldn't remember the name but we both remembered the plot.

Interesting show tonight. We were on Friday night instead of Saturday, which is a change. Then we were in a theater proper, which is a change. And it was far away from everything else, which is a change. And we had technical difficulties, which is not a change but I would like one eventually.

Unlike last year's issues with adapters, this year, VLC decided it wanted to play everything on the laptop. I tried switching the main display to the screen, but it still wanted to play on the laptop. This frustrated me beyond measure as I'd tested everything out beforehand. I think I'll be getting a new laptop soon.

I swear, it's Danno's ghost. I had some Hell Money specifically for tonight, but we forgot to burn it. This is my punishment.

The show was slated to run 1:15 to 3:15, but we started late. Well, the panel before us started late and we thought we'd be cool and let them finish as no one was behind us. I mean, we'd be holding no one up, so it was not a problem.

No, it was a problem. See, the last shuttle between the theater and the con was leaving at 4, so we couldn't run it too late. Also, the staff of the Alamo Drafthouse had a long day and kinda wanted to get home before traffic got snarled up by the implosion. Add to that, the panel before us was showing no signs of closing it down and packing up. One of the con staff got a manager from the theater to get them out.

I did not see what happened next, but I'm informed that will never ever be an issue again.

Because the Drafthouse serves food and drinks, we had to make the "Last Call" announcement at 1:45. The collection of drinks would happen at 2:15. We worked in the Hard Gay contest during that time so the house lights would be up.

Shortly after that, I had to reboot the laptop. As Danno would say, Uff da.

Still managed to pull off the Camay Walk. We had a great audience tonight. They are really what makes a show, so I must always give them credit for their participation.

Katie was delightful (as always) and Eileen stayed on top of everything in the background. Thank you to everyone who stopped by the front once the show was over. Someday it will be perfect.

Although, knowing our luck, the world will end shortly after. Well, at least we had fun.

New digs, again

OK, kids. Sorry I've been a bit getting to you all on this, but we've been hashing out details the last couple weeks and I can give you the schedule (if you don't already have it).

Otaku Hell will be at the Alamo Drafthouse Cedars on Friday night/Saturday morning, 1:15 in the AM until quarter to four. Yes, when they talk about the wee hours of the night, this is what they're talking about.

So, you ask, where is that? How do I get there from Fair Park? Well, lemme tell ya, you don't walk.

No, really. Do not try to walk from Fair Park to Cedars. Please. I am not kidding.

(click to enbiggen)

The "I am doing my best to not get lost" route is down Al Lipscomb Way to Lamar. For irony's sake, you could take a taxi. The Lamar route will take you through the Cedars neighborhood proper and may be safer. I think there's some street-work near Fair Park, so be aware. 

If you take I-30, it means you're going to have to take the weird on-ramp from First Ave, fight your way across a couple lanes of traffic, then shoot through the Canyon and hope you remember where the Ervay exit is (on the left). You might want to street-view this beforehand. If you do it wrong or miss your exit, you're either going to wind up on I-35 or on your way to Ft. Worth. 

Now, one thing you can do is get into Cedars a little early and enjoy the local nightlife. The Rave (once our sworn enemy) will be at Gilley's just down the street. If you're hungry, ZaLat is open until 2AM. 

We want you to be safe and happy. Plan accordingly. 

A-Kon Report

Make sure you enable safe search before you Google anything about this video.

So! We had a great show. Considering we were starting much later than usual, I'm still pleased we were able to fill the room (with some left standing at the back for a while). Granted, we had contacted A-Kon later than usual this year, so I'm thankful they were able to squeeze us in.

And this year, all video had to be done via HDMI, which was OK because the laptop I was using was HDMI out only, but it was kinda not OK because of stupid HDCP and I'd left the laptop on a non-administrative account but that's neither here nor there and we were able to run the show from the back where all the devices could talk to each other without anyone completely losing their mind. This is more the fault with the protocol than it is with A-Kon's equipment and a purchase will be made to remedy that.

I want to thank our audience for sticking it out with us for two hours. I was worried we wouldn't have enough of the old stuff to keep our old fans' loyalty or enough new material to interest the newbies (and we had a shocking number of new people this year).

Now that I've done it, I'm a lot more comfortable with doing it again. I played it safe this show. Next time, we're really going to see some weird. I think it's the kind of thing Danno would have enjoyed.

As per tradition, we had a late meal at the Metro afterwards. According to Katie, they have the best chicken-fried steak.

Project A-Kon 27

As you can see, we're doing a show. Click on the picture to see the listing better.


And that's where we'll be! If you click on the picture, it will take you to a full map in PDF form.

I have ten pounds of candy to throw.

Looking for video/pics of the A-Kon Hell show

We're currently going through the video we shot at the show and will be posting the clips as soon as possible. If anybody took photos or has any video of the A-Kon Hell show and would be willing to share it with us, we'd really love to see it. Please post the links in the comments.

A-Kon 2015: the aftermath

Exciting, no?

I actually thought for a minute that Goemon was being played by Mansai Nomura, who played Abe no Seimei in Onmyoji, but no. It's Gô Ayano, who played Joe in Gatchaman. Either way, I get to have very nice fantasies later on.

So! The show!

Danno, Katie, and I took a taxi in this year, because you can't beat class. Also, I'd messed up my heel earlier in the week and didn't feel like walking 5 blocks and paying $30 for the privilege. I live close enough that a taxi was very affordable. It really is the best way to get to the Anatole, hands down.

Somehow, our room was switched with the folks doing Rocky Horror, or vice versa. I knew we were in Video Two; but when we got there, we were moved to Video One. BECAUSE WE ARE VIDEO ONE MATERIAL. All our hard work has finally paid off.

MEGALIZER II from MEGALIZER on Vimeo.

Strong start from Danno! Thinking we were going to be next to the rave, he threw in some nice boom-da-boom (sorry, Rocky Horror!) No, really, the Rocky folks were incredibly cool about the move. I don't know who made that decision, but you guys really were very cool about it and I thank you.

Oh yeah! This year, we had a special appearance from Jason Merrill, brother of Dave Merrill, the guy what started this crazy thing. He had a snazzy jacket.

For pre-show this year, we got the kazoo orchestra set up and ready to go. Why not? It's a good activity while other things are getting handled and it keeps up from slowing down the show to handle it later. Also, kazooers? You guys rock.

Normally, we split up the "Hard Gay" and "Camay" walks by gender, but this year, in the spirit of something, we decided to forgo with such binary restrictions. Both contests went wonderfully.

New contest this year was our "evil laugh" off. That is the stuff of nightmares, let me say. We'll be posting what we have of that later.

Everyone was awesome. We had a great show. Everyone had a good time. I swear, in the last four years, these have just been getting better and better!

If you've got video, post it in the comments! We love your feedback!

Yes, I know I'm posting late. I have a new work schedule and things got wacky.

Tonight! A-Kon Hell!

A-Kon Hell tonight! 10pm! WOOT!

Bad news, kids

If you were looking forward to seeing Anime Hell at A-Kon this year, don't. We're not doing it. No Dogsnack. No Hard Gay. No Camay Walk. No Kazoos. No Hell Nurse Katie. None of that.

I hear you asking, "Why? Sweet lord, why?" Well, we contacted A-Kon this year, at the same time of of year as we have the last few times, and got the following reply:

A-kon has for many years been shifting towards an environment where we do not seek out talent, we have talent beating our doors from panels to artists, and everything beyond.

Unfortunately this year I actually had a waiting list for groups and rooms starting in October. Additionally there was a last minute unscheduled change that leaves us without our largest video space for half of the convention, as it is becoming Registration. We are making due [sic] with all the changes but we don't have space between programming and events to fit you guys in this year, and our programming book has already gone to print.

In thinking about all the folks we had to contact to let them know it wasn't happening this year, I had to remember you, the fans. It's not that we've quit; we're just not going to be there this year. We'll be back next year and we're still planning on Anime Fest later this year.

Anime Hell at A-Kon 24 this Saturday!

Come and see Anime Hell at A-Kon! The madness starts at MIDNIGHT!

Followed by ninjaHELL riffing on the classic 1982 made for TV movie MAZES AND MONSTERS! Starring Oscar Award winning actor TOM HANKS in a realistic portrayal of role playing gamers in the early 80s that will move you deeply!

Hell Nurse Panty Contest

A-Kon Debriefing

The original plan was the Ninja Hell squad would stay at my place. I had meal plans for this: chicken tikka masala with palak paneer and naan Thursday night, lunch in the tunnels on Friday, leg of lamb with tabbouleh that night, and that wonderful beef tenderloin Saturday before the show with Sushiworld afterwards.

That was not to be.

So, A-Kon was this weekend.

And that was a mighty barrel of laughs, indeedy-do. It always has a kind of "high-school reunion" feel to it, but I think that might be because I went to high-school with a couple of folks who used to be something over there.

Friday night was a lot of wandering around, saying hi, drinking.

The hotel also had a couple firepits on the patio at the newly opened (well, it was closed last year) bar. I thought it would be nifty to roast marshmallows in them and bought some for Saturday night. And bamboo skewers.

Ah, Saturday night. Where to start?

More...

Dan comes over and we make a run to a liquor store. Back at the house, we figure out how to get his netbook running with a projector. It takes some fussing, but we now have that worked out, so that's one down. The technical problems should be okay after that, right?

No, wait, that's at 9 PM. The show isn't going to start until midnight. A lot can happen between then and now. I mean, this is A-Kon and there's going to be some egos involved. It's not technology that's going to fuck us; it's logistics.

The room that's been assigned to Anime Hell is occupied when we get there. Dan had requested a thirty-minute set-up time, but at 11:30, the guys in the room are far from done. As a matter of fact, they're turning over the laserdisc when they're supposed to be clearing out. A laserdisc. Of Project A-ko. A laserdisc.

Namesake be damned, we've got a line.

We've got a line that goes down the wall, around the corner, and starts to loop back. A line of people who want to see Anime Hell. A line of people who expect that shit to start at midnight, as was promised.

Fifteen minutes after twelve o'clock, the room starts to empty. We now start the set-up.

THE SET UP

We don't have a table and have to ask for one. The AV guy checks the microphones and then leaves to go run the hentai room. No one has a VGA cable (insert cable/tentacle joke here). The provided projector won't detect.

This is why Dan asked for thirty-minutes.

While Dan is trying to get the projector to get a signal, some random guy (someone on staff) hops up and says, "Let me show you a little Windows magic."

Quick aside. I deal with dual-monitor displays on a daily basis. The way it usually works on laptops is right-click the desktop, properties, settings tab, advanced button, Intel graphics media accelerator driver tab, graphics properties button, display devices tab, and then select multiple monitor display, extended desktop.

Daily basis, yo. Over the phone. To bankers. I think I can do it when it's sitting right there in front of me.

So I'm watching "Windows magic" guy and he's just sitting there on the display properties settings tab and "just can't get it to detect". This is frustrating and it's eating up time. I go up there to get it set up and now there's three guys trying to show me how to do it. (I am vaguely reminded of the people whose cars run on shame; they don't have any horsepower until I pass them.) No one was interested in this until I started working on it.

Did I mention this is all happening in the dark?

Yeah, the control for the lights is in the next room, where the rave is going on.

Con ops is now dreadfully interested that we get the show up and going because the huge-ass line I mentioned earlier is still standing out there, waiting to get in. They've been waiting since 11:30. It's now 12:45.

Thirty minutes after we got in the room. Funny that.

OK! We have sound, we have video. Wonderful Katie has been handing candy out to the kids in line, who are being wonderful sports about the whole thing. We get them in the room. In the dark.

THE SHOW

At some point during the show, Dan has to slip out of the room for a drink of water. We don't have water in the room, but there's a cooler just outside the door (five steps, tops).

I've got to say that I do appreciate the amount of water that was available for the con. I think this was provided by the hotel and mad props to them for that because it was 100 degrees Saturday and keeping hydrated is insanely important down here.

And it even had ice in it!

So Dan walks five steps: one, two, three, four five....gets drink of water and turns around: one, two three, four, five... to go back into the room and run the show.

And the door-nazi asks to see his badge.

Wait, let me back up a bit here. Neither Dan nor I had badges. Three separate people were supposed to get them, but that didn't happen, so whatever. We did wait twenty minutes for an elevator to the third floor where con-ops was, but con-ops (who knew who I was when I said we were from hell) said they didn't have badges for us because we were "exceptions" and "exceptions" was closed.

Now, I did get a badge from Ed, who was running karaoke, but that was because he was in the bar getting Eileen drunk after their gig. It was actually Eileen who gave me me her badge, but that also had the best misspelling of my name I've ever seen, which is doubly hilarious because I wasn't even working the karaoke room this year.

Back to our story. Dan is standing outside the door, arguing with the door-nazi about how he's running the goddamned event and needs to be let back in. This is when Ed comes by and says, "Hey, he is the show," and the door-nazi takes Ed's word and lets Dan back into the room to the event that he fucking runs.

By now, Dan has just about had it. The show was pushed to midnight, it started late, we're running against the hentai show, there's a rave going on next-door, we've gotten no help from anyone, his ankle is hurting, we didn't get our badges, he just got badged, and the door-nazi didn't recognize that he's the one running the event.

Enraged, Dan comes back into the room, rants a bit, and throws fist-fulls of candy at the audience. "I'm not taking this shit home! We have a table of prizes! I don't get paid to do this!"

Yes, a person can angrily throw candy.

The rest goes pretty smoothly. Contests include a Hard-Gay pose off, a Heino-imitator-imitation run, and seeing who can do the Camay girl walk the best. I promise a prize to anyone who can provide a spoon because we have some "Tick" figurines to give away. Interestingly enough, someone does. I throw candy cigarettes.

At three in the morning we are DONE with the show. There is an eerie quiet in the room.

"WE OUTLASTED THE RAVE! WE ROCK! NOW GO TO BED!"

POST SHOW

While collecting our things, we discover there's a passed-out audience member in the stands. He's completely unresponsive and con ops has to be called in to ask him who he is and if he knows where he is. Someone says, "I can call his parents."

The girl who's been sent in to reset the AV equipment has a Nokia 1100 phone (the one with the flashlight!). I used to have one of those and I miss it at times. I hope the soldier who got it appreciates what a fucking fantastic phone that is.

"That's the best phone ever," I tell her.

"I know," she says.

"Don't ever get rid of it," I tell her. I still have the marshmallows and bamboo skewers in my bag. "Here," I hand them over. "If they ever get those firepits at the bar restarted, you have to go roast these."

"There is a god," she says.

A-Kon Hell 2010 report

Project A-Kon Hell 2010

Visions of A-Kon Hell 2009

Thanks to A-Kon Hellion Ayane Eiketsu for bringing these moving images back from the pit of HELL.

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A-Kon Hell 2009

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Don't Forget

I forgot Hell Nurse Katie's birthday. But don't you forget these upcoming Anime Hell's in May:

Anime Central - May 8th
Anime North - May 23nd
Anime Boston - May 22nd
FanimeCon - May 22nd
Animazement - May 22nd
Project A-Kon - May 29th

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Hard Gay pose off at A-Kon 19 AnimeHELL

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A-Kon Hells Post Mortem

I got home to find that my 3 legged cat had puked in my bed AND Japanator had posted a nice review of the Friday night A-Kon HELL with lots of video goodness, too.

As Japanator points out the Friday night show was in a panel room with the max capacity of 100 people. But Saturday night's show was moved to Video Room 2 where there was plenty of space for everyone. A-Kon may not know or care about AnimeHELL, but at least now they seem to understand that lots and LOTS of folks wanna go to it and see it. Here's to the hope that next year finds A-Kon HELL scheduled in a video room from the start.

Still, a good time was had by all. And much candy was given out and many prizes raffled off. A big thanks to the A-Kon staffers who put up with our wacky clip show crowd, we appreciate all your help in getting HELL into a bigger room. And a special thanks to the Anonymous Audience Guy who helped out with setting up the video projector and getting the sound back when we lost it on Friday night. You rock! And, of course, thanks go to Emily and Bob DeJesus for the Kawaii TV opening and Bruce, Avery and Katie, too.

I've got lots of A-Kon HELL video on my monkey cam and as soon as YouTube lets me upload it I'll post it for all to enjoy.

Bonus: morphyloon shares, "a panoramic view from my place in the AnimeHELL line."

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