Saturday, May 21, 2011


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If you want to be "Rapture Ready" everything you need to know about the end times is covered in the Hell classic A Thief In The Night.

Although A Thief In The Night is only about 70 minutes long it takes 40 minutes to actually get to the Rapture. There's lots of hippies singing, a couple of sermons, and lots of warnings about the Rapture. Plus some really good bad acting and classic clothes and hair from the late 60s/early 70s. This drags on and on and then when you're not expecting it, it happens.

You'll still be here when I get back, right?

The first thing you'll notice is that those who are "Caught Up" tend to be using power equipment when they are "gathered together in the clouds." So there'll be lots of things like lawn mowers and electric mixers and jet airplanes that will have to be turned off.

But then the real fun begins. The United Nations Imperium for Total Emergency(AKA U.N.I.T.E.) immediately take over the TV with old white guys wearing armbands and setting up I.D Centers with guys in red shirts making everybody take The Mark. Paramilitary UNITE goons show up in white panel vans and start hauling away all those annoying hippies from the first half of the movie. Which would seem like a good thing, except the annoying hippies keep singing while in the UNITE detainment camps.

And that's pretty much how it's suppose to go. Or was it all a dream?


Anonymous said...

not sure if you knew.. but this movie has 3 equally awful sequels.

Tohoscope said...

Oh yeah. I've got two of them. They're not as goofy as the first one though.