Monday, October 31, 2011

Hirsute (2008)

Hirsute from A.J. Bond on Vimeo.


I should have posted this on the doppelganger post, but here it is in all its glory.

Are you wearing a mask tonight?



WARNING: The above video may either induce a seizure or activate the mind-controlling micro-chip in your Halloween mask. I'm pretty sure the seizure would be worse.

You can actually buy those masks. There was a tie-in with the producers. I'm sure someone is selling them for more than they're worth.

Masks should never cost too much.

More...




Well, some masks cost more than others. I suggest watching all 4 parts, as it's an excellent tale. Normally, masks are meant to hide who we are, not show the truth inside.



The truth is, the iconic mask from Donnie Darko is just Frank's Halloween costume. Who knows why he chose an evil rabbit, but there it is. I'm also disappointed that Donnie's girlfriend fell asleep before the movie started, but I'm sure that's a plot-point. It's nice of Frank to whisper to keep from waking her.



What's great here is the history of the Mike mask.



Hockey mask, not that exciting. It's not the mask itself, but how it's used that makes a masked killer entertaining. Both Michael and Jason are your strong, silent types, so the mask doesn't have to be that big a deal.

And for those of you playing at home, Kevin Bacon.



Ghostface isn't the quiet type. I can't watch any of these without thinking of Scary Movie. To be honest, I haven't watched either all the way through. I'm sure they can't be that much alike.



OK, let me tell you a little about this movie. It's a strong premise that starts off very well, has likable characters (except the female lead), and some great writing. That's the movie you start with; it's not the same movie by the end.

Leslie is an ebullient, outgoing, and affable slasher-in-training. He's having fun and you have fun watching him as he goes through the steps necessary to create a typical slasher flick. He's got a wonderful mentor (now retired) who talks about how "the industry" changed. The mentor has a wonderful wife who, from what we gather, is a "survivor girl" herself (named Jamie, oddly enough). Robert Englund plays Leslie's "Ahab", does a wonderful Donald Plesance impersonation, and is named after the cook in The Shining.

It's not a great film because of where it decides to go, but it is fun. I'd suggest watching it and trying to figure out all the little Easter-eggs in the flick.



The title "Behind The Mask" has been used numerous times before. For a comedy, even.



I'm going to leave everyone with this, as it's a fun mask story.

There's a sequel, The Scream of the Haunted Mask. I know because I finished recording an audio-book of that not too long ago for a group that does books for the blind. I need to find out if there's already a recording on file for the first book, just so I can record that as well.

So, now that you've seen all that...what was your mask going to be tonight?

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Mound (2011)

Mound by Allison Schulnik from garaco taco on Vimeo.



This just freaks me out.

They walk among us



Godless Commies! Anyone could be one!

As a study of How People Thought in the 50s, this is a great fable. The two main characters are divorcees (scandal!). It's a huge allegory for how anyone could be an America-hating commie, so we have to stay on guard at all time.

Replacing our loved ones (Capgras syndrome) isn't all these doppelgangers can do. They also appeal to our fear of losing our own identities (syndrome of subjective doubles). We're afraid of losing our lives, just in a different sense.

More...




No, it's not a ghost story, but it is a very scary film. Strangely enough, though you could never tell by watching it, the twins are played by actual twins. They never appear in the same shot, which might lead you to believe otherwise.



This time, the fear is of industrialization. Computers were just starting to take over our lives at this time, and there was a dehumanizing process at work. It really did feel like that!



Again, the fear of loss of identity. And DAMN that I can't get a copy of this in the States! I remember when I first saw it as a kid and how terrifying it was, that someone could...possess someone else like that.

The clones themselves are actual sweethearts once they find out what the deal is. I say sweethearts; I mean vengeful harpies. It's great.

Actually, this reminds me of a story about a guy who actually did manage to clone himself (very illegal), but there was something wrong with the tank or something, because the clone had a terrible case of Tourette's. Of course, the clone looked just like the guy, so people were coming after him for the foul language "he" had used around them. Eventually, the guy was so fed up, he pushed the clone off a bridge.

He was arrested later for making an obscene clone fall.



Oh no! One of my favorite films has been replaced with a terrible flick filled with explosions! NOT EVEN OUR MOVIES ARE SAFE!



So, they don't even have to be from outer-space to be scary.



They don't even have to be twins. That's just creepy.

Sadly, there was an American version, so it's almost like Hollywood is the Single White Female to every movie out there that's any good.



How many of them are there? THEY'RE ALREADY HERE!!!!!

Mister Arcade is HERE!

Video games and other electronic toys of our youth!


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Some skinny from our pals over at Coleco!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

What measure the man?



Remember what I said about Charles Laughton earlier this week? Well, there he is; very symmetrical and looking very Captain Bligh with that whip.



I always had a plan to perform my own experiments: to create half-human\half-philosopher creatures. THE ISLAND OF DR. THOREAU! Some lives are worth more unexamined!

Anyway....

More...




Creature from the Black Lagoon was filmed and originally released in 3-D, and was one of the first Universal films filmed in 3-D (the first was It Came from Outer Space, which was released a year before). It is considered a classic of the 1950s, and generated two sequels, Revenge of the Creature and The Creature Walks Among Us.



Also, this happened. Marlyn Monroe was right. It "just wanted to be loved".



To be fair, that's Lon Chaney Junior.



I'd like to think that Andre was not actually the victim of homicide, but "death by misadventure". I also like how this trailer lets to listen to what's in store, which kinda makes it creepier.



This was seriously one of the dumbest movies I've ever watched. I might never forgive SyFy for this mess. It seems to be a common fear: men who become beasts. Kinda helps when the man in question is so beastly.



They aren't always frightening, however.



Meanwhile, women are always scary. This is either justification of the "boy's club" vibe a lot of fandom sends off, or a result of it. I'm thinking it's a combination of the two that results in stories like this.



Hey, the worst that can happen is she'll say no, right?



Although really, if she was all that liberated, she'd be "Cat Womyn".

Friday, October 28, 2011

Episode Two: The Bride of Horror Hell

episodetwotitlecard2

The Anime Hell Show
Episode Two:
The Bride of Horror Hell

Another collection of classic horror movies ripped from VHS!

Movie trailers in this episode:

  1. The Beyond
  2. Basket Case
  3. Scared to Death
  4. Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman
  5. The Exorcist III
  6. The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane
  7. Prom Night
  8. Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
  9. Evil Dead
  10. It Conquered the World
  11. Schizoid
  12. The Shining
Running time: 22 minutes
File Size: 175 MB

Download from: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TBXPQ3LO
or: http://www.mediafire.com/?tagfqffuqe5f9r5

Look at my wingspan! I WILL DESTROOOOOOY YOU



You have to start with King Kong. It's the classic "giant animal" tale and has been included in the Library of Congress. The Nazi's banned it, so it has to be good.

A box-office smash (RKO's first success), it's the one everyone tried to imitate. Observe:



Wikipedia sez: "Buoyed by the enormous success of King Kong in 1933 and its profitable theatrical reissues in 1938, 1942, and 1946, RKO had great hopes for Mighty Joe Young. Upon its release in 1949, the film was honored with an Academy Award for Special Effects (a category that did not exist in 1933 for King Kong)."

Don't think it would stop there. The genre just kept growing.

More...




If a giant gorilla is scary, then would could be more terrifying than Them! ?

Nuke it from orbit; that's the only way to be...oh. That's how they got big?



Look out, Canada!



Look out, Mexico!



Look out, England!



Look out, Jap....eh. You guys are used to it.



Ah, big silly monkey. You should not be in Japan. That's where Godzilla lives.



SEE WHAT I MEAN?



The monster is actually a giant snail. And it doesn't challenge the world as much as the Salton Sea and my lunch. Snails are just all...ugh...that's just gross. The worst part of this flick is the instruction video that shows close-ups of real snails eating. I gag just thinking about it.

Although Hans Conred puts in a nice performance here. He's like a proto-Quincy.



I'd say it was the giant bats or giant rats or the giant winged lion that made me include this, but I just wanted you to see this insane thing.



OK, giant rats. They're still scary. Good Halloween costume, if you're of a mind to.



If you go back and watch The Matrix (the first one--the good one), and check out the scene at the Oracle's apartment, this is the movie the kids are watching in the living room.



The Twin Towers? TOO SOON, MOVIE. TOO SOON.



Here's a culturally insensitive cartoon to make it all better.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I had trouble getting out of bed this morning



Note to self: do not shoot bed. It will only anger the bed.

There was a remake, actually, of The Blob, and I'll only post a link as opposed to an embed because I find this sort of thing difficult to stomach. Even if it is all stomach. We're more about the fun than the gross.



Not that I'm going to show you the whole movie, but I love these opening credits. I'm also a bit of a sucker for Burt Bacharach tunes and that animation is just mesmerizing.



WHEN GRAPE JELLY ATTACKS!



Make that, when yogurt attacks. I never could stand that stuff as a kid.



Ugh! Stupid office. Stupid work.

P.S.: I have no idea when this was made, but look at that phone!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Waiting for a "full" modo....



Dang, but Lon Chaney was a swinger, eh? He's so acrobatic. Or acro-hunchback-tic.

Here's the full movie, if you're interested.



She gave me water! screams Charles Laughton.

(We'll be visiting with a more symmetrical Chuckles later in the week. Dude was married to the Bride of Frankenstein, so there's stories to tell....)



Those crazy Gypsy women (and their goats) are casting their evil spells on Anthony Quinn! I can see her ankles! SCANDALOSITY!



George Bloom, I will hunt you to the ends of the earth. And when I find you, I will knock you over.



I'm gonna go lie down now.

You have to sleep sometime...



Good luck with that.

(I could have sworn this was the original soundtrack to this.)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Vincent Leonard Price, Jr. (May 27, 1911 – October 25, 1993)



I'm gonna get all weepy.

Episode One: Horror Hell

episodeonetitlecard1

I've been thinking about putting together a video podcast for years. So, here's my first attempt. I was inspired by Prevues of Coming Attractions, a blog devoted to movie trailers which, unfortunately, decided to stop early this year. Luckily I've got lots of old movie trailers to share.

  1. Psycho
  2. Night of the Living Dead
  3. The Exorcist
  4. Halloween
  5. Frankenstein
  6. The Terror
  7. The Corpse Grinders
Running time: 19 minutes
File size: 151.7 MB

Download: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8GJAIQVV
or http://www.mediafire.com/?jaf72nrcw55qt8q



No, there's nothing wrong with your soundcard. It's a silent film. You can watch the entire thing here (with a soundtrack).

First published in 1909, The Phantom of the Opera was written by Gaston Leroux. The silent film is from 1925. Just let that sink in a bit. Our ability to make movies is over 100 years old. This still messes with my head.



Oh, Claude Rains. The man was cast as the Invisible Man because of his wonderful voice. Doesn't it make sense that he'd play a guy in mask?

There was a Chinese version in 1937, but I have not been able to find a good copy.



Oooooo, Michael Gough's in this. Remember him from the Hammer Dracula movie? Of course you don't. You don't even know who Herbert Lom is. That's cool. We can get past that. We've got the Internet.



I have to include this, even though I don't really want to. See, I'm a Dallas girl (Assassination City, born and bred), and a lot of this dreadful movie was filmed in my darling home town. Paul Williams' mansion? That's the county courthouse. The Paradise itself? Why, none other than the old Majestic Theater downtown. I have a permanent, obligatory (albeit small) place in my heart for this dumb movie.



hate to say it, the original music for Magnetic Rose is better.

An Incrediburgible Horror!

Burger Chef & Jeff - Glad to have you with us
The time Burger Chef and Jeff had to camp out on Mt. Exposition, save a Transylvanian hotel, help a werewolf's chance for stardom in a shampoo commercial and other INCREDIBURGIBLE CRAP!


For more Burger Chef memories...
http://www.freewebs.com/burgerchef/

Monday, October 24, 2011

Way to go, BOB



I like that revenge is enacted by Ralph Nader.

There's a good man in there, somewhere.



Welp, last Moon-day, we covered werewolf transformations (hyuck hyuck), and Kris mentioned Jekyll & Hyde. The above link is an excellent example of another kind of transformation (see if you can spot all the edits).



DRINK IT, ALREADY!

Hey, there's a mirror. Where's the camera?



It would appear that doing a decent transformation sequence is one of those "wisdom of the ancients" type things, lost through time, like building pyramids, fixing a typewriter, or how to make decent french toast. I've seen similar transformations done in real life and they were more convincing.



Oh! Oh! I know! And I am telling. SPOILER ALERT: He becomes Jerry Lewis.



You know what this reminds me of? How to Get Ahead in Advertising, which is an interesting Jekyll and Hyde story in its own way. Turns out, Hyde is better at the job.



Everything is a remix. Or a remake. Amazing.



Even that is a remake.

Wanna see the version from 1920 with John Barrymore? No? Here it is. Here is the 1990 version with Michael Caine.

We had color before we had sound



I just find these fascinating.



What people could do and what people would pay for are not the same thing.



It must have been like 3-D movies. "Nice gimmick, but why bother?"

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Now, You See Him; Now, You Don't



Besides the whole "crazy dude that wants to take over the world" aspect, Claude Rains' Invisible Man is someone I would not mind having a beer with. I've worked tech-support. We have many tales of human stupidity to swap.


Smoking jacket. Dude had class.

That's an illustration for the first edition of the H. G. Wells novella. Here, you can read it. It's not very long. That's good on a Sunday afternoon.



What I love the most about these movies is the special effects. It's mostly pantomime from the other actors, but there is that occasional foot-print in the snow, or "miraculously" levitated object.



Check out Sam Neil's awesome pantomime there with the gun-headband. Who knew he could do physical humor?



Dangit, CGI! You suck the fun out of everything!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Uncanny Valley of the Shadow of Death



I would suggest the rest of the series (this is #1) if you're really into zombie flicks. As it turns out, a lot of these old films have fallen into the public domain and you can view them online:

White Zombie Oh, check it. There's Bela again.
Revolt of the Zombies. This one has a great a scene where the lead completely loses it.
King of the Zombies (apparently an early exploitation film)

That should be enough to keep you busy this afternoon. Then there's this:



Now, to be fair, we're missing a lot of historical context there. Still....

Friday, October 21, 2011

Tintin and the Shooting Star

The end may not be near, but it was almost Endsville for Tintin in this heralding adventure!

Halloween

Just wrapping up the week...



Hey! There's even a Japanese version!



Watch as someone unwittingly raises the dead. Nicely done!



So help me, Christopher Lee.



Also, this happened.



So Brendan Fraser was in a mummy movie that was a remake of a Karloff film but he was also in Gods and Monsters, which was about the man who made Frankenstein, which was also a Karloff movie.



There was a nice little nod to Karloff in Night at the Museum 2. I wonder if it was the writer, director, or Azaria who decided on that.

As Dan pointed out in the comment, "I bet if Azaria had been doing Bela Lugosi they'd gotten it right off."

(There's some language in that link. Be aware.)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Twenty-Four Years Ago...



Good luck Gaddafi wherever you're goin'!

It's Alive!



I want a role-playing game based on insane scientific theories from the 30s. I think a Jacob's ladder gives +5 to kooky-kontraption.

It's also at this point I'm going to be an intellectual snob. The creation is not called Frankenstein, okay? You can call it the creature, or the monster, or even Frankenstein's monster, but it is not called Frankenstein. Let's just get that clear now. Frankenstein was the doctor.



Sorry. Frankenstein.



Despite what you may be thinking, Edison did not plan this as a commercial for delivering electricity to people's homes. But that would have been awesome.



Hey, what's good for the gander is good for the goose, huh? Anyone know when the safety pin was invented? Is that an anachronism?



Awwwww yeah...Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Those guys are in everything.



And I want to personally thank Jorodowsky for giving us that "oil lamp\self-immolation" trope. Thank you so much for the end of El Topo and the image that will not stop.

PS: I wanted to post this on Thursday because it's Thor's day. Lighting! HAHA!

Words to live by



Wanna know what they're singing about?

More...

美 味 佳 肴 我 们 做, 请 你 来 品 尝。
Měiwèi jiāyáo wǒmen zuò,qǐng nǐ lái pǐncháng
Please taste our delicious foods
我 们 是一 群 快 乐的 炊 事 员 。
women shi yi qun kuai le de chui shi yuan
We are a happy kitchen staff
美 味 佳 肴 我 们 做, 请 你 来 品 尝。
Měiwèi jiāyáo wǒmen zuò,qǐng nǐ lái pǐncháng
Please taste our delicious foods
我 们 是一 群 快 乐的 炊 事 员 。
women shi yi qun kuai le de chui shi yuan
We are a happy kitchen staff


不 要 慌, 不 要 忙, 各 位 听 我 讲,
Bùyào huāng,bùyào máng, gèwèi tīng wǒ jiǎng
Don’t get too confused or busy, listen to my words
开 始 工 作 前, 清 洁 是 关 键,
Kāishǐ gōngzuò qián, qīngjié shì guānjiàn
Before you start in the kitchen, cleanliness is key
洗手,洗衣服,清洁 工 作 面, 洗盘, 又 洗 锅, 还 有 器 具 全。
xi shou, xi yi fu, qingjie gongzuomian; xǐpán, you xǐ guō, hái yǒu qì jù quán
Wash hands, clothes, clean work surfaces; clean dishes, pans and all utensils
还 要 请 注意,水 必须 干 净,
háiyào qǐng zhùyì, shuǐ bìxū gānjìng
Also pay attention that the water must be clean
食物 要 安 全,洁 净 是 关 键。
shíwù yào ānquán, jiéjìng shì guānjiàn
For food safety, cleanliness is key
食物 保 安 全, 顾客 放 在 先。
shíwù bǎo ānquán, gùkè fàngzàixiān
For food safety, keep the customer first in your mind
注 意 清 洁 讲 卫 生, 食物 保 安 全。
zhùyì qīngjié jiǎng wèishēng, shíwù bǎo ānquán
pay attention to cleaning, hygeine - protect food safety


鱼、肉、虾、牛排, 烹 制 味 美 鲜。
yú, ròu, xiā, niú pái pēngzhì wèi měi xiān
Fish, meat, shrimp, steak; cook fresh foods with beauty and flavor
人 人 都 可爱 , 厨师、 服务 员 。
rén rén dou kě ài chúshī fúwùyuán
You are all lovely, chef and kitchen staff


美 味 佳 肴 我们 做, 请 你 来 品 尝,
měiwèi jiāyáo wǒmén zuò, qǐng nǐ lái pǐn cháng
Please taste our delicious foods
我 们 是 一 群 快 乐 的 炊 事 员。
wǒmén shì yi qún kuài lè de chuīshìyuán
We are a happy kitchen staff
美 味 佳 肴 我 们 做, 请 你 来 品 尝,
Měiwèi jiāyáo wǒmen zuò,qǐng nǐ lái pǐncháng
Please taste our delicious foods
我 们 是一 群 快 乐的 炊 事 员 。
women shi yi qun kuai le de chui shi yuan
We are a happy kitchen staff


我 们 是一 群 快 乐的 炊 事 员 。
women shi yi qun kuai le de chui shi yuan
We are a happy kitchen staff

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Happy Hump Day



I haven't seen Igor, but it does look just horribly cute. I'll have to add that to my Qwickster Netflix queue.



Oh hey, it's Bela Lugosi. It looks like the monsters of Universal Studios are more incestuous than Marvel comics.



Here, have some culture. It's from the opera "Prince Igor" and has nothing to do with hunchbacked minions. Try to not think about Conan the Barbarian while you're listening to that.



I can't add anything to that.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

VHS HELL: Skeleton Warriors

VHS HELL Skeleton Warriors Flesh and Bone VHS front cover Skeleton Warriors Flesh and Bone VHS back cover

Lame anime isn't the only thing that sucks around here



I'd like to say this is where it all started. No. This is where the camp started. Anyone who pulls off a bad Hungarian accent and says they're from Transylvania is just ripping off Bela.



Nope. That's years later. It is, however, where we get The Oath.

Check it out! Peter Cushing is playing a doctor, again.



Oh man, he even sounds like Christopher Lee.



A timeless story? Well, no, not really. But it is pretty persistent. IT WILL NOT DIE.



Really, Renfield steals the show on this.


Look at this guy.

Tom Waits has never looked more pompous and respectable in his life.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Werewolves, Whenwolves, and Whywolves



It is tragic--nay, criminal--that a major film about werewolves has not been released that features this song.



Using odd music is nothing new in werewolf films. I'm actually sad I could not find the ballerina transformation from Howling III, as it uses some music from Prokofiev's Cinderella.



Midnight, and Cinderella turns back into herself, and a ballerina turns onto a werewolf on stage with each pirouette. It's a genius sequence in a terrible movie.



With time, our transformations became more sophisticated, i.e.: more gory. I admit that watching this was not that scary for me as I had seen a "making of" on Lights, Camera, Action. This was a mild turning-point in my life as I had to ask, "How did they do that?" instead of just watching the terrible, terrible moments on screen. I was less afraid and more intrigued by the technical aspects of how a thing was done.



Lest we forget that being a werewolf is a curse. It is painful and horrible and turns us into something we are not. It is not desirable at all. It ruins lives and destroys relationships (and throats). The entire idea behind werewolves were they were monsters, yes, but victims as well. They had no control over their transformation. It took control of their lives and dragged them through hell.



Ah.....forget everything I said. There's no art left in the world.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Monster High (2010)



Monster High is fairly new, but taps into the time-honored tradition of making a cartoon to sell toys. The dolls are roughly the size of Bratz dolls, but seem to have a little more class.

The Halloween Special embedded above is an introduction to the characters and their world. Personally, I think the school looks a lot more like a community college than a high-school, but it's been years since I've been in either, so things may have changed.

What I really get out of this, more than anything, is how hard high-school really was for some folk. When I started, we were all freshman at our first day in a new school. As it was a magnet school, we came from all over the district and very few knew each other from middle-school. The problems presented in this cartoon are so alien to me that it's hard to relate. I can understand the need to be accepted and a desire to fit in, but the lengths that are gone to here are outside my ken.

But also, thinking about it, I've been saving my "scary" videos for Sundays, and I don't think there's anything scarier than being put in such a situation. Being the new kid is terrifying and trying to break into established cliques is more horrifying than spending a night in a haunted house. I'm sure that for a lot of people, seeing someone else go through it brings back a lot of painful or frightening memories.

Or it's just a goofy cartoon filled with puns that's trying to sell toys. Hard to say.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Saturday Night at the Arcades!


Ghost Hunters (2004)



Personally, I would love to have a ghost that created cold spots in the house. I would never have to deal with a watered down drink again. The ice would never melt!

I love shows like this because they are so darn fun to watch. There's the acting, the special effects, the cinematography...it's great.

I keep waiting for someone to put one together that's just a thinly-veiled "Scooby Doo" cover: handsome guy, pretty girl (the spokespeople), and then nerdy girl as the scientist with all the gadgets and some stoner who's actually a psychic (a la Roddy McDowall in The Legend of Hell House). Psychics, to me, have always come across as kinda flaky, like stoners. Maybe he's blind and needs a seeing-eye dog. It would be a great show.

But, to be honest, the Shaggy character would most likely be the sound guy. When you put together a show like this, it's important that the sound guy always gets hit. He doesn't have a camera, so you never get to see what happened, and it makes for spoooooky sounds. I think CPF has looked carefully at how these videos are put together. I'm all for critical analysis of what they show on TV.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Girls always had scarier toys



Yeah, I know boys had the creepy crawlers and monster factories, but girls had toys that were genuinely terrifying.



Let's take a look at Jill, who is some kind of prepubescent Single White Female in the making. After hearing for the umpteenth time about how "nice little girls don't get mud on their dresses" and how pretty your Jill doll looks in her dress, you're begging Santa for a "My First Carpentry" set, just on the off chance it may include a claw hammer.



But what is she thirsty for? Your blood, that's what. This is the doll that never sleeps and will always need something. Just what a little girl wants in her life.



There's something to look forward to, kids.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

It's like science, but fun



Mom and older sister are freaked out, having been properly trained by society to be weak and squeamish. Little sister has not yet been indoctrinated and is thus unafraid. Dad is unimpressed either way.

Man, boys get the best toys, I swear. I'm amazed they didn't girl it up and make one with a mold of little dolls and hearts and pastel colors.

Ah crap, they did.



It looks like girls used to be a lot tougher, back in the day. By the 90s, they aren't wearing a spider ring anymore.



Of course, by 2002, boys were invading girl territory when it came to toys. Then they all grew up and started watching Bizarre Foods.



A choking hazard waiting to happen. That's the best kind of toy.



That had better be water-soluble. Tell ya what, champ. Why don't you wait until you go to your mom's this weekend before you play with that bad boy? Naw, your mom's a cool lady. She'll be fine with it.



The joke writes itself.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Chick Tracts

Message from Jack Chick from Chick Publications on Vimeo.


In preparation for Halloween, I had promised I would post Halloweeny, spooky, or scary things every day. I'm sorry this one is late, but I've had a hectic week and there was a lot that needed to be done today.

Now, I had considered posting a trailer for the scariest movie I could think of, but it is so disturbing, I thought that might be out of the spirit of things. This is supposed to be fun, not upsetting. (You can view the trailer here, if you dare. As for the film itself, I had trouble getting through it and even more trouble sleeping at night after seeing what I saw.)

But! In the spirit of Halloween, I will post this very important holiday tip:

If there's one sure-fire way to get your house egged, it's giving out Chick-tracts instead of candy. And, for kids, if there's anything worse than the house that gives out raisins, it's the house that hands out Chick-tracts.

Don't be that house.

But is it art?



And we shall call it, Moff's Law.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

GeGeGe no Kitaro (every decade, forever)



There has been a version of GeGeGe no Kitarō every decade since it was created in 1959.



Oh, you thought I was kidding?



No, I am not.



SERIOUSLY, I AM NOT KIDDING.



Come on. By now, you should know the words.

Meanwhile, I love this closing credits tune.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Timber timbre

Do I Have Power - Timber timbre (2011) from Carlos De Carvalho on Vimeo.


And this is why you should be nice to bugs.

Liquid Televsion Online

Get More: MTV Shows


It's not all of them (yet), but it looks like MTV is finally going to put out the Liquid Television archives. I'm still waiting for the DVD!

The Fat Albert Halloween Special (1977)



I like that Mushmouth's costume was a cell-phone. Very prescient, these kids.



Mudfoot actually has some points about Halloween safety that you should all pay attention to.

Also, Devery should run for public office.



Wow, old people in the hood have a lot of disposable income for candy and soda. EAT THE RICH!

Sunday, October 09, 2011

The Separation (2009)



Do you have 9 minutes and no plans for sleeping again?

Ever?

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Get your Halloween shopping done early!


The things your mom spent her tiring days on while you were wasting away in school...

Disney's Halloween Treat (1982)



This was one of the tapes I wore out as a kid. I think I had missed it when it first showed, but Mom taped it and I watched it over and over again. Finding it now, I sang along with the opening credits. Yeah...still know the words.

Later, it was actually put out on tape. There's no DVD, but I'm sure that it will eventually be released (for a limited time only!) from the Disney vault. I don't know who runs that vault, but they are a real dick about it.

A year later, there was A Disney Halloween, which used large portions from Halloween Treat and Disney's Greatest Villains.



(And yes, I know it was a short clip, but that is Hans Conried as the magic mirror. What a fine and distinctive voice.)

Friday, October 07, 2011

The Adventures of Mark Twain (1986)



Just a snippet today, from a claymation special that freaked me out as a kid.

Twain wrote multiple versions of the The Mysterious Stranger, each unfinished and involving the character of "Satan". The story ends abruptly in the middle of a scene, suggesting Twain died before he finished writing it.

Twain wasn't really a cheery guy, but he's the same fellow who wrote The War Prayer and Letters from The Earth.

On Halloween, traditionally, we dress up like devils and witches and vampires and other evil things. We do that to mock the evil. We aren't afraid of the thin time of All Hollows Eve. We carve out pumpkins and put fires in them for the souls in Purgatory. Summer is over and the dead celebrate. The nights have become longer than the days. Evil must be kept at bay.

And here's a bit of music from the Orchestre National de Barbes. Barbés is an Algerian neighborhood in Paris, a refuge for exiles who could tell you a thing or two about evil in the world.

Evelyn Evelyn



The Amazing Randy of Something Positive alerted me to this adorable video. Check it out; it's fun sized!

I had a dream once about triplets and two were conjoined; they were song and dance girls with the singlton as their manager. In my dream, it was a movie called "Location, Location, Location".

Thursday, October 06, 2011

It's Intermission Time!

As the drive-in season winds down for another wonderful year, let's take a look back at a lost but not forgotten cinematic art from your local hang-out!



More...
































Probably the most ambitious one I've seen for a little live drawing in process!

Witch's Night Out (1978)


Watch Witch's Night Out in Family | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Witch's Night Out is so Canadian it hurts. Not only was it shot in a Toronto Studio, it's got Dan Aykroyd, Vlari Bromfield, and Catherine O'Hara. Honestly, my favorite part is the sound the broom makes.

I don't have much to say that can't be answered by watching this flick. Here's a song from the 70s about a witch.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Festival of Family Classics: Jack-O-Lantern (1972)



The horror....the horror.

What's really sad here, for me, is seeing how far Rankin\Bass had fallen. Remember that Mad Monster Party on Monday and how awesomesause that was? Yeah...same studio.

I don't know where the money went, but it wasn't on the screen.



Here's part two, IF YOU DARE.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Monster Mash (1962)



"Monster Mash" is a 1962 novelty song and the best-known song by Bobby "Boris" Pickett. This version is presented by the Groovie Goolies, and I'm not going to admit I watched that religiously every Saturday morning.

Bobby Pickett did several follow-up tunes to this, including (but not limited to) the Monster's Holiday.

The thing that really helps along the "Monster Mash" is Bobby's imitation of Boris Karloff. That's part of why this next track is so great.



That's Boris on an episode of Shindig, a dance show. Sadly, there's no video if it, but here he is doing the Peppermint Twist.



Yesterday, I was going to do a whole thing on the "Monster Mash", but I was distracted by Mad Monster Party. Here's why (poor video):



Finally, I leave you with this: Vincent Price in the difficult-to-watch Monster Club




EDIT:

@tweetheart4711 reminds me: "The other great version was by the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, fronted by the fabulous Viv Stanshall."



That man was the personification of dulcet.

Monday, October 03, 2011

Animated advertising of yesterday's past!

Things your grandparents probably saw on the big screen for commercials before the days of television!

Mad Monster Party (1967)



This is the classic that Tim Burton keeps trying to re-make.

I'm just going to say I'm an absolute sucker when it comes to stop-action animation. You put on some Jan Svankmajer or Brothers Quay and I am going to be glued to the screen the entire time. It's from watching movies like Mad Monster Party (or the special effects of Ray Harryhausen or George Pal) that got me started.

I'm not going to post all of Mad Monster Party here, as it is available for rental (and instant view!), but I do have a making-of documentary here, with part two. If you want to know what it took to get a movie like this made, and its ties to Japan, you WILL watch this documentary. It is well worth it.

And I'll leave you with Ethel Ennis belting out a fine, fine song...

Sunday, October 02, 2011

The Cat with Hands (2001)

TunesOfDoomJ

Halloween is coming!

Last year, we did the "Tunes of Doom" counting down to that fateful and spooky day. We'll be doing similar this year, but we're going to mix it up with more videos, ghost stories, links to creeeeepy things. I meant to get this up yesterday, but a tree branch, a phone line, and the laws of gravity had decided otherwise.

Come back each day for more!

Anime Hell 2011 Opening

 
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