Friday, October 14, 2011

Girls always had scarier toys

Yeah, I know boys had the creepy crawlers and monster factories, but girls had toys that were genuinely terrifying.

Let's take a look at Jill, who is some kind of prepubescent Single White Female in the making. After hearing for the umpteenth time about how "nice little girls don't get mud on their dresses" and how pretty your Jill doll looks in her dress, you're begging Santa for a "My First Carpentry" set, just on the off chance it may include a claw hammer.

But what is she thirsty for? Your blood, that's what. This is the doll that never sleeps and will always need something. Just what a little girl wants in her life.

There's something to look forward to, kids.


Unknown said...

If that's the case, why wasn't Chuckie a girl in the Child's Play movies?

Heck, why wasn't he Teddy Ruxpin?

Chris Sobieniak said...

The world may never know!

Dr. Mila said...

Because Phyllis Diller wanted too much money to voice the killer doll, so they had to get a guy to do it and re-designed the doll around him.

Unknown said...

No seriously. would a creepy evil girl doll mess up the sexual politics of horror movie rules or something? Can't have an evil cute girl doll or somehow it tips things in to some weird politically incorrect way?

Unknown said...

You want June Foray to be the voice of the killer doll. Not Phyllis Diller.

"My name is Talky Tina and I don't think I like you."